my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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