Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
