we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
