There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
