So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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