I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
