why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
