There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
