Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
