I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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