Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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