Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
