This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
