Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
