and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
