oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
