She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
