she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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