I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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