I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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