No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
