never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
