It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
