I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
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id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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