Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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