The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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