It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
