it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
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Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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