Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize