i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
