How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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