I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize