Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
