The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think people are normalizing furries
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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