Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
