honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
