Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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