two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
