i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
