I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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