my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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