Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
