Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
