The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
