If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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