Whod you bang
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
