you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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