she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
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The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
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Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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