is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
