I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
