This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Text me some of your sweat
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
