Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
