yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
