Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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