it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize