I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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