I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
