i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
do herpes really smell.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
