Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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