she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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