people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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